Testing Myself

Seriously, i really wanna move time faster than ever!
I wanna as fast as possible go to the day i leave this city.
Heading to Jakarta, meeting new people, experiencing the new activities, deadlines, assignments, challenges, traffics, busyness or whatever new things.
I need to get out from 'this' feeling.
I wanna test myself, is this just one of thousand 'interlude' i'll find in my life song?
Is this just a good melody and skillful technique i'm impressed with, but not the main part of my song?
Please, I don't wanna trapped in much spare time so that i just think of you anytime!

I've said thousand times that i wanna go as naturally as it is.
I wanna ruin anything of this natural progress with my own ego.
I don't wanna be the selfish one that just satisfy my own need.
I don't wanna make you as one of my project or challenge or something new i've never experienced before.
I appreciate every single thing i've had for you.
Besides, i'm so afraid. So afraid that this time, i just the same fool lady as before.
So afraid that i choose the wrong path.

I know it's time to surrender.
to have some faith.
to walk not by my own sight.
to be totally believe that there is someone who has provided the best for me.
I know.
I know the truth.
I know.

I know I've experienced couple times, what good things You've actually done for my life so far.
More than i can imagine
Beyond my thought and what i've thought best for myself.
I know.
That's my only grip.
That's my only hope.
I don't know anything more.
You know better than I.
 
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

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